Ladybugs

Outside my room was the 
foyer. There was a small 
white bench made of wood
with yellow cushions. My 
parents got the bench from 
a flea market, and I 
remember how they haggled 
the price down to fifty 
dollars. The cushions 
were gorgeous. The fabric 
was Ralph Lauren and covered 
in beautiful flowers. In the 
springtime the ceiling would 
become covered with dozens of 
ladybugs. 
Sometimes they'd venture low 
enough so I could invite them 
to travel across my fingers. 
The red ones were my favorite,
but I liked the orange ones 
too. I remember the smell they 
left behind- bitter and 
old, like someone else's 
grandparents' house. I wondered 
why 
they filled my home and 
what 
their purpose was. 

-meb

Therapy

The therapist fills each 
moment of silence with 
yet another provoking 
question.

"How do you think all 
of this affects you now?"

I turn to the left and 
lock my eyes on his. 
I stare deeply into his 
piercing blue eyes 
before I begin to speak. 

"You know, for the 
longest time I've felt 
incomplete. I've had a 
hole inside of me my 
entire life and have 
been filling it with all 
the wrong things. I have 
buried my pain all these 
years. To me, my problems
weren't worthy or 
comparable to those of 
others. People needed me 
and I could help fix them. 
After so many years of 
living this way I forgot 
how it felt to feel... 
so much so that I didn't 
care how people treated me...

because at least 
they were still there."

-meb

Pretend

Maybe you and I could 
go away. Not forever, 
but for the night.
I need someone to hold 
me, because right now 
I'm having a hard time 
understanding 
life. 

And you don't have to
say it, because I 
remember from before. 
But maybe you could 
stop the breaking.
Pretend to love me
once more. 

Baby all I need tonight
is a break from the 
loneliness. You see, 
so much time has passed, 
and I need a fresh memory 
to reminisce. 

-meb